As the snow settles and the Christmas lights twinkle, we hope this list of archery-themed marvels has brought a hearty chuckle to your day. From glow-in-the-dark arrows to Sasquatch targets, hoverboards, and Viking longships, it’s safe to say that we’ve ventured boldly into the absurd, with a quiver full of imagination and a bow strung with whimsy.

But before you rush to pre-order your Gucci archery glove or Viking ship, let us assure you: none of these products actually exist (yet). While the world may not yet be ready for a hot tub shaped like a target, we believe that dreaming big is what the spirit of archery—and the holidays—is all about.

So go ahead, gift your favourite archer something wonderful this year. Maybe it’s a real bow sight upgrade, or maybe it’s just a good laugh. Either way, may your Christmas be merry, your arrows fly straight, and your imagination never miss its mark. 🎯

Cheers to the archer who truly has everything—and now, a little more to smile about!

1. A Life-Size 3D Sasquatch Target

Forget deer or foam boars; what your archer really needs is a towering 3D Sasquatch target. Yes, these exist, and they are magnificent. Standing over 7 feet tall, this foam behemoth will turn every outdoor practice session into a mythical adventure. Ideal for the archer who secretly dreams of bagging Bigfoot.

2. Custom Archery-Themed Hot Tub

After a long day of flinging arrows, what could be better than soaking in a hot tub shaped like a target face? You’ll need a hefty budget and a sense of humour, but with a little creativity and a custom spa company, this could go from “What?!” to “Why didn’t I think of this sooner?”

3. Drone-Assisted Arrow Retriever

Tired of trudging across muddy fields to collect arrows? Enter the drone-assisted arrow retriever. Equipped with a claw or magnet, this gift combines cutting-edge tech with pure laziness. Sure, it’s over the top, but isn’t that the point?

4. Gucci Archery Glove

Why settle for a plain old leather glove when you can give the archer in your life one designed by Gucci? Imagine gold stitching, embossed logos, and a price tag that makes no sense—but hey, they’ll look fabulous nocking their next arrow.

5. A Medieval Jousting Target

Upgrade their backyard setup with a spinning jousting target, complete with shields and swinging arms that smack them if they miss. It’s challenging, hilarious, and probably slightly dangerous. Perfect for the competitive archer who loves a bit of chaos.

6. A Subscription to “The World’s Weirdest Targets”

Give them the gift that keeps on giving with a subscription box of bizarre target faces. Think zombie clowns, alien invaders, and historical villains (looking at you, Henry VIII). Each month delivers a new ridiculous surprise to shoot at.

7. A Life-Size Viking Longship for Target Practice

Yes, this is a thing. Some companies make replica longships for events or displays, but why not repurpose one as the ultimate archer’s target? Add flaming arrows (safely, of course) for a truly epic Viking experience.

8. Archery-Themed Hoverboard

Combine modern tech with medieval vibes: a hoverboard quiver carrier. Customised with slots for arrows and a bow rack, this high-tech ride will have them gliding across the range like a futuristic Robin Hood. Bonus points if it comes in green and gold.

9. Inflatable Archery Arena

Forget backyard targets; go big with a bouncy, inflatable archery arena! Think of it as a mix between laser tag and dodgeball, but with foam-tipped arrows. Hilarious, ridiculous, and great for post-Christmas family chaos.

10. A Personalised Archery Throne

Why sit on an ordinary chair between rounds when you could have a hand-carved archery throne? Picture a Game of Thrones-style masterpiece with arrow motifs, a quiver holder, and a built-in cupholder for mulled wine. The perfect perch for a reigning champion.

Final Word: Aim High This Christmas

This year, go big, go weird, and make your archer laugh out loud with a gift they’ll never see coming. Whether it’s a hot tub shaped like a target or a drone that fetches their arrows, these ideas are all about celebrating their passion with a healthy dose of holiday hilarity. After all, nothing says Christmas like a Sasquatch target under the tree!